Yesterday I tweeted this:
Hard news to hear today about WPS. If we only knew last off-season what we knew today. Pride is a dangerous weapon
And then someone responded with this.
@emasar3 Yes, you should have said something while it was going on with Dan the man, you turned your back on your team mates. Pride? Are you feeling guilty you did not back your teammates that were being badly treated? By your paymaster? #money
I immediately became infuriated. How dare someone say that to me after my time spent there. Yet, after I calmed down, I realized I never really told my side of the story.
No more silence.
Now that my nose surgery is paid off and Dan has no grip on my career, I feel it is time for me to really speak and explain what just happened down in Florida with me.
You are going to have to bear with me, it can get confusing with the timeline, and I will try my best…
I remember it like it was yesterday.
It was mid July and we were all (MagicJack) sitting in our locker room. Dan had called a meeting to give us our options with the grievance being filed earlier in the week.
Of course, he did not show up. He just relayed his “dirty work” to some of the girls on the team and gave us two options:
1) Disagree with the grievance and tell the league that we stand by him.
Or
2) Agree with the grievance and he will pull the plug on our team and the season is over.
Side note:
At this point in time Dan was pointing a lot of fingers to different girls on the team to see who exactly started the grievance. Fortunately, for us, he had pissed off ONE too many girls and could not single anyone out. He sent one too many emails or said to the girls one too many times, call me “Daddy.” I wish I were kidding.
Some of us also asked the lawyers of the league what the worse case scenario would be if we did decide to stand up to Dan (finally). We were reassured that it would survive the remainder of the year. That is the ONLY reason that any of us would have sucked it up and stood by Dan. We refused to be the reason of ending someone else’s dream.
Even to this day, I still do not understand how there were mixed feelings about the grievance. Because we, as a team, had had numerous meetings about standing up to Dan and telling him how could not treat us the way he did. I am telling you, every SINGLE woman in that locker room (that day) had approached me at one point or another saying that they did not want to come back. That NO amount of money was worth being there.
Yet, when push came to shove and they were actually faced with this decision, somehow that all got lost in the background. Funny how that works…
Anyways, back on track.
So as we were sitting there facing our options, feeling that fear that Dan could pull the plug on us and collapse the league I raised my hand and said, I am sorry, I can’t stand by Dan, no matter what.
Not even 5 to 10 minutes later, I received a text saying I had two options.
“Go home and get your nose fixed or be traded.”
I read it out loud to the team and walked out of the locker room.
The next thing I knew I was on the beach crying my eyes out. Yes, I know, I can be dramatic but I can’t explain the feeling I had. So many questions arose; so many scenarios went through my mind, who had turned their back on me, on the team, who was the snitch. How could this happen? How could I be blamed for something he did, who betrayed me? I thought all I had done was stand up for my teammates and fight for what was right.
We were all on the same page; we all had decided to stand up against Dan yet there I sat alone. I am not saying that there were not girls that had my back, I am just saying it only takes one or two to whisper the right thing for things to take a turn for the worst.
After hours on the beach I went back to my apartment, packed up EVERYTHING and was on a flight back to Chicago the next morning.
Sidenote: My nose
A month earlier I suffered a kick in the nose. As soon as the game was over I knew that I needed to go get it checked out. I told our chiropractor because Dan did not believe in an Athletic trainer and he said he could not re set it.
He told Dan that I needed to go to the hospital, so Dan put me in his car and said we were going to the local hospital. Long story short, we never made it to the hospital. He took me to dinner with his “boys” and I was with him for 2 days until we met up with the girls in Atlantic City.
Why I never went, I still do not understand.
Then for the next month I was telling him I needed to get my nose checked out. When I went back to Chicago, for the world cup break, I made my own doctor’s appointment to see what exactly was wrong. The doctor told me that I needed surgery but she needed an MRI first to see the extent of the damage.
Well when I called Dan to tell him this, he said he didn’t want me to get one and to come back to Florida. That he would take care of me there. . . .. I NEVER got taken care of.
Only a month later, when I was “released, ” was I able to come home and set up an MRI appointment.
Chicago:
So. I fly back to Chicago the next day, and start to weight my options. After scrambling around finding an MRI, talking to two different doctors, I was told I definitely needed surgery because my left nostril had collapsed. However, after further discussion and with me explaining my situation the doc said she could give me a steroid to try to give me some relief and allow me to finish the season.
After lots of prayer, many conversations with my family, I told Dan I wanted to be traded. I was not going to let this man tell me my season was over. Not after everything I had been through down there. Western New York and Philly became very interested and both offered Dan trades.
Dan not only denied them both but also decided he wanted me back. Abby called me from the World Cup, the day before the finale asking me to come back, and Dan told me that he had made a mistake.
I still told them no…… well I did until the USA woman lost.
Throughout the season I had come pretty close to some of them. Dan was refusing to trade me and said that I was either done or could come back to Florida.
So, my heart, said you know what, some of these girls deserve a championship. I am going to do everything in my power to help them.
Florida:
I land in Florida a week later.
The US girls are back, Abby is named our coach, and my hell starts.
I realize now that Dan never wanted me back to help the team. He wanted me back to make an example of me. To show everyone that he was in control.
I sat the bench for the next 6 weeks. I am, by no means, saying that the people on the field did not deserve to be there. I am just saying that I thought I at least deserved a chance to play. IF I didn’t start, pas grave, but as a forward I felt I deserved some/any minutes to play and help the team. I went from starting, playing every game to not a minute.
Tears still come to my eyes thinking of the nights of running behind the field after each game wondering why. Asking God how could any of this be fair, how could I be so blind? The pain of watching the thing I loved and worked so hard for be turned into a joke.
The bottom line is that I should have never gone back. I should never have let my heart make that decision to try to help the girls win and I paid dearly for it.
I lost some pretty good friends down in Magic Jack land and was tested beyond what I thought (then, not now) I could take. I saw some things that I will never forget and finally understood the dark side of money.
And I’ll tell you this . . .
If you asked me if I could have all the money, all the accolades, the biggest contracts, but turn into some of the people I experienced in my 2011 season. I would say NEVER in my life.
Because this is what I know.
Records are set to be broken. That’s why they were made. They were made because someone did something incredible but have no doubt, someone else will come along to set the bar just that much higher. It’s not the World Cup’s won, the goals scored, or your net worth that people remember in 10, 20, 30 plus years, its YOU.
It’s what YOU stood for; it’s YOUR legacy. Your heart, your hard work, your integrity, your professionalism, and your dedication are what people will be able to tell their children NOT the dollar sign.
Throughout this whole experience I know that I kept my integrity. I, by no means, did what was right all the time but at the end of the day I know I stood for what I believed. That no amount of money, no amount of a bribe, or a poker chip could take me away from what I felt in my heart.
And Dan, I hope you are happy. Congratulations you won. You get to protect your “friends.” I just hope one day you can look back at and see this for what it was really worth.
Money can buy friendships but it can’t buy loyalty. I wish you could have seen what really happened and was said about you especially from those who you thought were on your side. Least you knew from the one’s you let go and myself the truth of what everyone else was saying.
I hope the money was worth it. . .
What a nightmare. Fans were wondering why you were benched when you could have obviously helped the team in the last half of the season. After behind the scenes stuff started leaking we were happy that you escaped to a healthier team/league that wanted you. (sigh) Sounds like a lot of people were put in positions they should never have been in (leadership included), but those are the moments when character matters the most, right?
Goodluck with your new ventures (and nose)! Hopefully whatever domestic league springs up again has the right people in place. From the top down. That really is the most important thing.
- A fan from Illinois
Ella, this proves your strength. Through your story, you’re showing people to stand up for what they believe in and to do what is right. Focusing on the bigger picture. I went to two mJ games last summer. I went because I had the opportunity to see y’all, women I look up to beyond the soccer field. Had I known what was going on behind closed doors, I never would have paid to go to the games. I never would have driven from Tavares, FL all the way to Boca Raton and back, twice. Sure I would have been sad to miss seeing great athletes play, but I wouldn’t have supplied Dan with more power. I am in full support of you and others, not that my opinion or side particularly matters, but I am. I’ve seen the way Dan communicates with the WNT players but completely disregards the nonWNT players. All in all, I’m glad you’ve spoken out about what happened. The mistreatment was uncalled for and in the end he will get his. Continue to be strong, Ella. I still look up to you.
Regards,
Kristin
Thanks for sharing Ella. Sorry you had to go through all that. I really respect you for this.
I want to say that this was a brilliant article, and it was, but it was also more of an eye opener …and I am so sorry you had to have a WPS year like that. It is extremely disappointing to see what money can do to a team, but it is also very admirable to see that you stood up for yourself and others the way you did.
I hope the WPS can sort these issues out Best of luck with everything in the coming year.
Hi!
First of all well written and then I’m little confused. Are you blameing Abby for what happen also since you name her?
Ella, thank you for your courage. As a fan I both the former Washingon Freedom, WUSA and WPS, it astounds me to learn details of what happened. I applaud you for your courage and conviction and I’m honored to call you a hero of the game!
I honestly cannot believe what I just read. The Washington Freedom has always been my favorite team and I followed them when they relocated to Florida (even though it was damn impossible to watch them on tv up here). I am so glad that someone finally stepped up and spoke out about their experiences. The utter disrespect for common decency shown by Borislow is appalling. I love the league and I am hurt to see it represented like this, even though I’m just a fan I take it personally as I’m sure many others do. I’ve been watching Women’s Pro Soccer since I was young and I feel connected to the players. This is just a sad, sad occurrence.
Thank you Ella, thank you. I wod give you a hug if I saw you. Hey llok, there have been times in every girls career where they say they are doing things for their teammates and are the one left behind instead. I remember seeing u sit on the bench and thinking to myself “Abby was just worried you would show her up and thats why you sat”. But there was more to it and I cannot tell you how happy I am that you came out and told the truth. Why are we covering up for these peices of garbage who sell themselves out? And betray their own? You have my respect 100% and THANK YOU. The next generations of womens soccer will have you and hopefully others like you to look up to.
Good for you for standing up for WHAT YOU believe is right. AS the saying goes “doing the right thing isn’t always popular”
ITs like an abusive relationship…getting out sooner than never is better.
So what if you break ties with friends… In time perhaps they’ll see what your heart was telling you…or maybe they won’t.
You wanted to protect and stand up for people/and yourself which i would have done the same exact thing. By people walking out ….mmm thats not right.
You did the right thing…sure its upsetting but you did good.
(that daddy thing = plain creepy)
him claiming to take you to the doctors and not ….THAT IS WRONG
FUCK dan borislow. you did the right thing! thanks for telling your side of the story. mass respect for you
father of player ,I respect all that you have done,Doush Bag DB should be punished for what he did to the players and someone should step up to help them because this DB really needs a lesson, money canot buy abuse and that is what he did to the ones that were not with him,hope you all the best and the lesson will make you stronger,good luk.
thanks for sharing this. i know it took a lot of courage! good luck to you!
This, not being an athlete, is what makes you a role good model — standing up and doing the right thing when all it gets you is knocked down by those you stand up to. Although the being a pro athlete thing is kind of cool too.
and sometimes I flip words…that should have read “good role model!”
I’m so sad to read this. I didn’t think anything could be sadder then the WPS folding and women professional soccer failing. That I almost cried about. This just an empty hole
Dear Ella; I just read your version of what has happened to you in 2011. I am completely dismayed that you were treated so badly and your teammates stood by and did nothing. As a Rochester N.Y. resident and a fan of Abby I can not understand why she did not support you. Certainly she along with your other team mates were aware of what was going on. It sound to me that their lack of support for you, may was due to the fact that either they sold themselves to MONEY or they were afraid of the consequence of their master. This man ,single handed has put an end t a dream that many young girls have. To those players who support him I extend my condolences. They to are part of the league demise. Your story is compelling and sad. Your story should be part of the litigation between the league and magic jack .Regards and good luck in your future. You have courage other may be cowards .
There was never a question that Ella was a quality player but now shows everyone that she is a quality. My formation was Ella and Christen Press as my strikers and they were incredible together. But that tandem never made it to the field. The other player was a sub in my eyes but that never happened either. it was a sad situation . Love you Ella, you are true class
Thank you for sharing. It is obvious that you, as a person in your mid-20s, are much more mature, poised, and caring than the idiot Dan is – a man probably in his mid-50s. You were very brave and I hope that things work out for the best for you as you deserve good things. Dan should not be around the game of soccer.
Thanks for your honesty Ella. And thank you for helping me with my special project back in July (Sports Bras), even though you were going through these tough times. Shows the type of woman you are.
Ella, I’m so sorry that you needed to go through that. We meet you at the MagicJack/Philly game and you were so nice to my kids. Thank you for standing up for what is right and sharing your story. You are a great role model for my 12 yr old daughter!
Ella. I am sorry you had a difficult time. Seems like Dan Borislow wan’t able to instill integrity and personal character in you, nor did the sport. You really come off as a disloyal cry-baby who unprofessionally feels that it is necessary to air your dirty laundry and blame Dan for your lack of sportsmanship, lack of team unity and more. We all have faults and we all must confront our demons, Please, Dan is not your demon. he challenged you to be better and you failed. Life is not easy. Teach young girls that lesson. Best of luck.
You, Susan C, really come off as a crackhead.
How is Dan Borislow going to instill integrity and character in anyone when it is obvious that he is SEVERLY lacking in either himself?
Susan, go back upstairs until your meds kick in. And bring Dan his slippers.
You’re right, Susan. Dan couldn’t instill integrity and personal character in Ella because he didn’t have any to give. Have you read his statements to the press? He is completely unprofessional and immature. And now it is unprofessional to call someone out for sexual harassment? Asking women to call you ‘Daddy’ against their will multiple times is disgusting and disgraceful. Much like your reply to a woman who is standing up for what she believes is right. Ella, I think it’s wonderful you are giving your side of the story. Best of luck in Paris!
Susan C…you are delusional!!! Funny how you are the only one whose comments have been in favor of Dan.
Ella, I wish you had played for Joe Sahlen. We had the opportunity to watch and meet the Flash players on several occasions. he is a class act and treated his players with respect and dignity. he appreciated each and every one. When he was offered tickets to the World Cup to see his players he chose to stay in the states and support his players…even though he had 7 players in Germany!!
Ella. You are brave. I would rather teach my daughter to be like you as a role model than any of your teammates who turned their back on you. They are followers…not leaders!!!
Susan C.: People who are egomaniacle, money grubbing, two-faced, double standard, disrespectful sleezebags do not deserve loyalty from anyone. They deserve to be told what they are doing is not right, and will not be tolerated, no matter how much money or power they have. Denying an athlete proper medical care is negligent, and repeatedly telling 20-something year old young women to call him “daddy”? That’s called sexual harrasment. No, life is not easy, but that does not mean anyone should be okay with being treated this way. Ella did not take the easy way with this — she’s now put this out to a public forum, rather than going quietly away. She didn’t need Barislow to instill integrity or personal character within her — both of which he is sorely lacking — she clearly already had it in abundance, as evidenced by her standing up for what’s right when no one else has. Courage isn’t doing something that’s easy for you. Courage is doing something that is the hardest thing in the world, but standing up for what you believe in and following through with it. I find that a much better lesson to teach young girls, rather than “sit pretty and be quiet.”
Dan? Is that you?? “Susan” I think you must’ve had a very difficult time in school with reading comprehension because not a single statement in this post sounded as though Ella is playing the victim. I’m sure you’re content with your place standing behind your man’s shadow, attending to his every desire but please spare the rest of us from your asinine vitriol. Just in case those words were too much for you, they pretty much mean “you’re an idiot so shut the f*** up”…now go sit in the corner and think about what you’ve done.
“Susan C.” – you are either a sociopath or on drugs or both. As you don’t have the courage to leave your last name as Ella has, please find the closest rock and crawl under.
What a heartfelt and amazingly courageous story – remarkable insight into the confines of the game.
It is hard to imagine that one man can take on a league and damage the landscape so dramatically. It’s clearly obvious that he did. I’ve read some of the briefs and emails and they’re outrageous – bordering on funny as you can’t imagine someone would conduct himself in such a manner.
As you pointed out, pick your friends and your business associates very carefully.
I hope the league can re-emerge to succeed. The landscape of America is better served with younger players able to emulate their heroes.
Thanks for sharing!
Ella,
I am so happy that you had the courage to stand up for what you believe in and what is right. Dan sounds like he is a very manipulative and scary person. I cannot believe that instead of taking you to the hospital he took you to go schmooze with his buddies. This tells me that he clearly does not care about the players or the team. What he cares about is impressing his “friends” and making money. It makes me sick to know that there are people like that in the world. I am sorry that you had to go through something that awful. The professional league was supposed to be about player development, growth, and having fun. You were supposed to be out there, on the field, with your friends playing the game you love. Instead, an owner on a power trip ruined that not only for you and your teammates, but for the league itself and all of the girls who dream of being able to play soccer professionally. Looks like “daddy” has some serious issues that need to be dealt with in therapy.
I wish you the best of luck in all of your future endeavors. And I hope that the league is able to come back in a positive way so you can show everyone just what you are made of both on and off the field.
Keep up the good work,
Hilary
Ella. Thank you for sharing your story. I am sorry that you were the scapegoat and made to stand alone. Shame on your “teammates” that made you take the fall. They will have to live with themselves and their lack of courage and leadership. It happens way too often that someone takes the fall for someone else. I am sure those that didn’t speak (or did so behind Dan’s back) were all about the money/power. They sold their soul to the devil. You have cleared your conscious and they have to live with theirs. Shame on them. I respect integrity a lot more than how many goals someone has scored at the end of the day! FYI. I also love Tasha Kai, because she tells it like it is. I am sure the same person(s) are responsible for her not being on the USWNT. She is by far a great soccer player…just doesn’t play the political game.
Possibly Abby was also duped into thinking you would play. I’m glad you stood up to Borislow. What an awful awful person and hopefully other leagues and business people will know better than to work with him in the future. So sad that the league had to fold in part due to this one terrible owner. Good luck in France!
As the saying goes “stand up for what is right, even if you are standing alone.” Way to stand up to Borislow! You didn’t deserve to go through all that. Best of luck in France!
Ella, thank you for your honest post.
I have one question – why are you so sure there was a snitch? Maybe the timing of your comment and the text from Borislow were coincidental. Or maybe there is some other explanation — could he have heard your comment himself?
Ella, thanks for standing up to Dan. He’s an ass and truly an evil man. We were among the vendors mentioned in WPS’s grievance with Borislow, and I can confirm that he deserves the title “The Man who Killed WPS” and a few others to boot. Anyone who defends the man has either never dealt with him or is on his payroll. I look forward to the stories that come to light once he is no longer in a position to hurt people. It’s hard to stand up like you did and when you did, but it should be a lot easier for your teammates and others today. I’d encourage those who are coming out from under his dark shadow to tell their stories. It’s too easy for a man with money to escape unscathed and continue to damage everything he comes in contact with. The dedicated people, players, and coaches of the women’s game who have watched one terrible man destroy what they have helped build deserve to have Borislow’s well-earned legacy written. Courage is courage no matter when it happens. Thanks for demonstrating to all of us what it looks like.
Thank you for providing us with your side of the story Ella. I saw you play in-person the first time magicJack came to Rochester last season and was impressed by your effort and how hard you played that day; never understood what happened after that but this helps explain that.
Best of luck to you and I hope to see you play again in the WPS in 2013.
You are a true role model for my daughter. Thank you for not keeping quite. You have shown girls that u need to speak up
http://deadspin.com/5863448/
Page 21 of the court documents clearly show this guy was a lunatic…this is for you Crazy Susan C. There it is in court documents that there were player grievances. He treated everyone like crap in the league, so why would it be hard to believe that he treated his players that way? After reading this, one has to wonder why Abby Wamback would continue to support/defend this creep. I am disheartened by her loyalty. Guess $$ mean more to her than integrity and doing what is right. Role model NOT!!!
Dear Ella: Yours was a horrible story that made my skin crawl. I only wish you had known your rights as an employee. All employers are legally required to carry Workman’s Compensation insurance. After you had been kicked, you should have gone straight to the hospital ER. On the intake forms there would have been a place to indicate whether the injury was the result of an injury at work or a car accident (both sources of deep pocket mandated carry insurance). You would have checked off workplace injury, and that MRI and surgery would have been prescribed by the doctor, and it all would have been paid for by comp. If you paid out of your own pocket, there still *may* be a chance for you to recoup that money with a Workman’s Comp claim. If you can’t afford a lawyer to look into your rights in FL (I come from NY), any pro bono legal clinic can take up your case for you at little to no cost. Good luck and godspeed.
I can’t wait until this guy gets what’s coming to him